First, when February's first meeting came and went without approval I found myself in prayer. I realized after ten minutes of pleading and crying, and yes complaining with the Lord that this was getting me nowhere. Words I had recently taught my Sunday School College class came to mind and I turned to the WORD as my source of prayer instead of my own thoughts. My Bible fell open to Lamentations. I literally laughed a loud at the heavens. Really God? ya don't think I'm doing enough lamenting here on my own. Why didn't you pick Psalms or Proverbs or something in the New Testament, Lamentations? Determined I began to read through the prophet Jeremiah's lamentings on everything that had befallen Israel and how the Lord had turned away because of their wickedness. As I read I couldn't help but think how pitiful it sounded. Quite like someone else only moments ago. As I trudged my way through into chapter 3, God spoke directly into my heart. Nestled among the lamentings Jeremiah writes in verses 21-25, This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope, It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh Him. Even now as I type the words my faith is strengthened. These verses have become my prayer, each day remembering that His compassion and mercy is new every morning. I can rest in His goodness as I wait for the work to be completed.
Secondly, when February's second meeting came and went, again without approval. (I still had a few moments of despair here I won't pretend. Okay, I had to hold my tears in check for hours while I finished my work day, people this is just not easy) The next morning in my devotional God again spoke directly to me. For what are you waiting? Leave the desires of your heart with God through prayer and live each day in full contentment and confidence that your life -just as it is-is a part of God's perfect plan and His perfect timing. Enjoy God's peace that passes all understanding...for one more day. Just as it is. I let go, again, of the allusion of control I thought I had. Enough that when news of this first meeting of March came with no approval I didn't find myself drowning in the depths, only lightly treading water clinging to the lifesaver that it is all part of His perfect plan.
Lastly, just this week another scripture was added to my bundle of despair fighting tools. 2 Chronicles 16:9 states For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. God sees everything I am going through. His eyes miss nothing and I know today He is working even now on the behalf of this mama and her daughter on the other side of the world. On March 3 the protests were to begin peacefully disbanding. Our agency is hopeful we will have better news at the next meeting scheduled for March 19.
Pray for us. Pray for our family. Pray that if man's devices are keeping us from the next step that His strength will break down that wall. Pray for our patience and emotions. Pray we don't miss a single moment of contentment in enjoying life Just as it is...for one more day.