June Update



(this entire post is from Laura's perspective as Rocky's emotions never yo-yo lol)

We recieved an update on the Thailand program from Holt yesterday letting us know that the June referrals came out early!  Their were 4 children referred to Holt.  Two were matched with families in the program and two placed on the waiting child list.  My emotions were exactly like a roller coaster.  Early referrals:  UP,   4 referrals this quarter:  DOWN,  2 kiddos matched with their permanent families:  UP,  Do we only move up 2 spaces then?: DOWN....Sigh

Yep, up and down all night.  See even though I told myself not to expect anything major to happen,  their is this little what if glimmer that is impossible to put out.  What if Holt receives a record number of referrals and all the families are matched?  What if a child on the referral list matches only our profile and we recieve a match now?  What if...what if...what if...

I couldn't even attempt to wait a second and immediately emailed the program assistant with my questions of how this impacted our family....today I recieved an email from her that we are #14 on the waiting list.  Okay so are you like me and feeling a little puzzled...I mean the math just isn't there.  I was expecting 17 at best, so 14 seemed like a small miracle:)  Again she reminded me that it is impossible to tell when a family is matched as Holt has no idea what type and make up the referral groups will be each quarter, and they can only make estimates.  At any rate emotions back UP.

To put it mildly, I don't really like not being able to have some control over this waiting part.  I want to get in there and just make it happen, which of course I can't.  I feel like God is looking down shaking his head at me, again, with a small smile on his face of course as he knows me even better than I know myself. GOD: "Patience, my child, patience." ME: "BUTTTTT I want it now."

 I can definitely feel the prayers from all of my friends and family, praying #8 on my prayer list...They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.   Teach me Lord to Wait.